


But Paula Deen Said It Was Easy!

by tebtosca



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-26
Updated: 2011-10-26
Packaged: 2017-10-24 23:45:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tebtosca/pseuds/tebtosca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared attempts to bake a cake for Jensen's birthday. He fails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Paula Deen Said It Was Easy!

Jared tries. He really does. But as he stands there in their kitchen, flour streaking strands of chestnut hair and egg yolk not-so-delicately strewn across his cheekbone, he realizes that he has managed to fail miserably at making his boyfriend a birthday cake.

“Okay,” he says to himself, although his dog Harley perks up at the sound of his voice and stops attempting to lick sugar off the linoleum.

Jared looks at the wall clock over the sink frantically, trying to count down the minutes until Jensen gets home from work. Forty seven minutes. He has exactly forty seven minutes to make a miracle happen.

The first four minutes are spent throwing everything disastrous on the counters into a black hefty bag.

The next six are for washing his hair under the faucet and, well, maybe that wasn’t the best idea because the five minutes after that are spent using paper towels to keep streams of water from jetting from his bangs into his eyeballs.

“Okay,” he repeats, hair plastered to his forehead and the front of his plaid shirt soaked straight to bellybutton level. “Everything is fine.”

Harley looks at him, unconvinced.

Seventeen minutes are spent making a castle of Oreos held together with layers of peanut butter. Jared steps back and looks at the concoction, fingers covered in cookie crumbs and nails slimed with Jiffy.

Harley puts his head between his paws, obviously embarrassed that his master is this incompetent.

Jared’s sweating now, and goes to push his still damp bangs out of his face before he realizes that he’s smearing peanut butter all over his eyebrows. _Dammit,_ he thinks.

“Dammit!” he says.

He chews his bottom lip frantically as looks at the clock again. Jensen is never early nor late. Jared sometimes thinks that Jensen waits outside the front door if he’s a few minutes early, just so he can be home at the same time every day. Anal little bastard.

Okay, Jared has fifteen minutes. No, _shit,_ fourteen now.

“Frosting!” Jared squeaks, like he just discovered the meaning of life and runs to the cupboard next to the refrigerator. He pulls out a Duncan Hines cream cheese canister and then pauses a minute.

“Does cream cheese go with peanut butter?” he asks Harley, who looks up and gives him a half-shrug, as if to say that he would happily eat the frosting if Jared didn’t want it.

Grabbing a spoon, Jared starts piling scoops of frosting over the top of his Oreo castle, trying not to panic when the peanut butter glue doesn’t hold and cookies start tumbling down onto the counter top. He throws the spoon into the sink and starts using his fingers to spread the frosting, sure that hands-on is best at this late date.

“Jared, what the fuck?” Jensen says from behind him, voice utterly confused.

“You’re four minutes early!” Jared exclaims, spinning around and trying to hide the Oreo castle behind him so Jensen can’t see his surprise.

Jensen’s eyes go to half-mast as he takes in the sticky bangs and peanut butter streaked eyelids and wet plaid and frosting covered fingers. “Something you want to tell me, Jared?”

Jared flails his hands in the air, which only succeeds in making bits of cream cheese frosting fly across the floor. Harley takes off like a shot to try and catch them in his mouth.

Then suddenly, Jensen is laughing. He’s laughing so hard that he’s bent over at the waist and clutching his knees in his hands. His briefcase is dropped carelessly on the floor next to him.

Jared’s face turns red in indignation. “Happy birthday, you big jerk.”

“Ah, babe,” Jensen insists, still laughing, but he comes over and puts his hands on either side of Jared’s mess of a face and leans right on in to kiss him. The kiss tastes like peanut butter and cream cheese and perhaps a little bit of egg yolk, but all Jared gets out of it is _Jensen._

Jared pulls back after a few minutes, putting on his very best imitation of Harley’s puppy dog face. “I made you an Oreo castle.”

Jensen peers over Jared’s shoulder to the disaster on a plate that Jared worked so very hard on, and just manages to hold back a flinch. Okay, so he doesn’t manage to hold it back at all, but whatever. Jared can forgive him because, well, it _is_ pretty gross.

“That’s the best damn Oreo castle I’ve ever seen,” Jensen says, attempting an honest face and Jared blushes and smacks him with one cookie-covered hand.

“I hate you,” Jared mumbles, as Jensen curls his hands in wet plaid and pulls his lips back towards him.

“You loooooove me. You made me a castle,” Jensen murmurs, smirking against his mouth as he peppers Jared with tiny kisses.

“Because you’re my princess,” Jared slurs as he does his best to lick Jensen’s soft palate.

“And you’re my knight in shining armor,” Jensen replies snarkily, pitching his voice up four octaves and wrapping his fingers in Jared’s hair.

Jared feels warm all over as he drops to his knees and thinks of a much better use for all this frosting. Happy birthday, indeed.


End file.
